Perspective on perspective
People who know me often ask me this question: “How is your daughter doing?” They fish for information and I let on that it has been a hard but amazing year. Smelling my good courage, the comment that follows is usually “Man I don’t know how you do that.” So today I have decided to write about it.
My daughter Abbey just turned one year old. In her first year of life she has had surgery on a lung, her stomach, and in a month or so, a procedure in her small intestine. She has four scars on her chest, one of them four inches in length. Abbey does not eat and has vomited over 1,000 times in her first year of life, sometimes in her sleep. She is connected to a machine alongside her for about 10 hours of every day. My wife and I have held her down dozens of times, screaming, as we inserted various tubes through her nose and into her stomach cavity. She has been to about 100 doctor and therapy visits, has been anesthetized four times, and has had the equivalent of 887 x-rays in radiation. She is a tiny little girl, and is very cute, and is often quite happy.
We can all relate in some way; life exempts nobody from its inherent struggles. One has a special needs child. Another is unemployed. Another is ill. Still another is divorcing. I find comfort in the Bible because it is a book about people, real people who have real struggles. I find comfort in one Scriptural theme that seems to shine brightly as I plod through my own struggles lately: Perspective.
I have shared about my baby girl. In light of this, my football team losing, my air conditioner breaking, my retirement fund sinking, these all seem to be minor problems, if not infantile. But maybe even what appears to be significant might really be less so.
Jeremiah writes to us of these things. To a group of people that thought they had it pretty bad, he says this: “If you have run with the footmen and they have tired you out, then how will you compete with the horses? If you fall down in a land of peace, how will you do in the thicket of the Jordan?” (12:5) In other words, if you’re collapsing now when it’s really not as bad as you think, your doom is sure if things get really dicey.
So what if that which I consider to be thicket in my life is, comparatively, a land of peace? It’s all about perspective. We are told to count our blessings and for good reason. I think that most anything this side of eternal damnation is a wonder, be it suffering, illness, loss or grief. For in these things we see a side of God that perhaps we did not see before, or want to see; perhaps part of His glory is heartache, and maybe suffering is a way to fellowship with our Creator. Perhaps I don’t have it that bad at all.
Paul the Apostle certainly understood these things. Beaten, betrayed, shipwrecked, robbed, sleepless, hungry, homeless, burdened and depressed, he groans but is always of good courage, regarding the death about him and inside him to be a light affliction to be followed by some real glory in the not too distant future. May it be so.
My heart hurts for you and Jennifer and the boys. It seemed too much just to see my daughter get her immunizations. I think I would die many times to see her need these operations. I continue to pray for strength for you and Jennifer.
We appreciate all the support. I think my heart in writing this is to steer us to a meditation of Jeremiah 12:5 in our own lives. My story is just my story, but we can all relate somehow in our own pilgrimage.
I love you, my friend.
You are a constant encouragement to me, you and Jennifer boLth. Thanks for being an incredible leader, and thanks for walking next to me.
I suffer with you. You guys call me if you need anything.
Pastor, I did not know that things were so intense with your little girl and family. I know that what I am about to say is easy for me to say. After all A’Niyah is only developmental delaied. But Pastor a storm will show a person for who and what he realy is. I read some where that there is a person within us that is grater thn the path that lays vefor us. THIS TOO SHALL PASS. Yor and your wife are doing a grate work. Things will get better. For you and your family I am praying. May God be with you. Edna
So, so true! I in no way compare the depth of my struggles to yours, but I get the same response when people talk to me about Josh’s deployments. I’ve also found that perspective really is key and that choosing to find and be grateful for all the amazing things God has done through the struggle (or better, being grateful for God’s loving presence in the midst of difficulty) spurs me on to be strong and courageous when the world would give me permission to be otherwise.
Your family’s story and your faith through it all are such an encouragement to press on and choose joy. Just like John 9, truly the work of God is being displayed through precious Abbey!
Jeff – thanks so much for this honest post. It says so much about the real power of the Gospel. You and your family are a living demonstration that our faith is not circumstantial. What a powerful testimony that a Christian worldview does not seek to anesthetize our pain but rather to redeem it. And indeed – simply by sharing you are redeeming what the enemy intended for evil. Praise be to God for using you in this way in this time in this community. We love you!
Jeff, I love how you shared your heart and the scripture in Jeremiah. Perspective is important. It is so easy for us as humans to get bogged down in what we can touch and see in the present.
I pray to be stronger daily and remmeber the plans that God has for each of us, including my young ladies and Abby. God holds each of them in the palm of HIS hand. We see only a piece of what HE has .
Thanks for letting me share today. Hope Lauren’s word wasn’t too out there.
I love you guys!